


-let the gay out, hoes-

by summerfIing



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Blood, Bottom Patrick, Comfort, Death, Demons, Fluff, Gay, Hurt, I'll add more tags later, Kitty!patrick, M/M, Mpreg, and i am v proud of myself lmao, and one day i'll write patrick crossdressing because who doesnt love that?, at some point i'll wirte fem!peterick, death god!patrick, demon!pete, fae! patrick, i have this one long ass one shot, its like really gay, oneshots, smut?, top pete
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-09-29 01:03:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17193569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerfIing/pseuds/summerfIing
Summary: these are just some shitty one shots about our favorite gay couple





	1. don't touch me

"Patrick! Baby," Pete dodged when a pillow was thrown at him," I didn't mean too!"

"No, Pete! Leave me alone!" Patrick's face was red from anger. He turned around to leave, but Pete grabbed his arm, making the shorter face him.

"Don't you fucking touch me, Peter!"

"Babe, please! I'm so sorry!" Pete begged. He looked at his boyfriend's stormy blue eyes. Patrick looked back at Pete's whiskey eyes and calmed down. He huffed and looked away from the older's eyes.

"C'mon baby, I didn't mean to make fun of your walk! I just found it adorable." Patrick rolled his eyes and pouted, not giving in. Pete sighed at the stubborn man.

"It doesn't matter. I'm mad and you can't change that." Patrick pulled his arm from Pete's hold, and rubbed his pregnant stomach, walking out the room, grabbing a jar of pickles on his way out. Pete groaned and face planted on the couch. He knew he shouldn't have made fun of his pregnant boyfriend's walk, but it was adorable! He couldn't help himself and just laugh at his little waddle.

Now, he was going to sleep on the couch without his beautiful boyfriend cuddles and their unborn child.

Pete went to grab a blanket from their closet, close to his and Patrick's bedroom and headed towards the guest room for a pillow. He frowned and laid back on the couch, putting on some movies to help his insomnia, because, without his 'Tricky,  he wouldn't be able to have a good night sleep.

After a few movies, he realized it was 12 am and turned off the TV. He sighed softly, snuggling into the blanket and placed the couch pillows on his side. He blinked a couple of times, not feeling an inch of sleep.

•●•

After a few minutes, he heard a door open and he turned around to look at the hallway.

He could hear the soft paddling of his boyfriend's feet. Patrick sighed and moved in front of Pete.

"I forgive you, now scoot over. I can't sleep without you." He grumbled.

Pete smiled moving all the pillows and grabbed the strawberry-blonde to lay next to him. He nuzzled his face into the younger's soft hair and kissed his head. Patrick hummed contently and looked up to the whiskey eyed man.

"I love you, Petey." He mumbled.

"I love you too, Pattycakes." Patrick rolled his eyes.

"Y'know, I'm still kinda mad at you."

"Yeah, baby. I know."

"You owe me." Pete blinked at his pregnant lover.

"What?"

"You made fun of my walk. So you owe me." Patrick stated.

"But Patt-"

"No. You owe me breakfast and a slushie."

".......Fine."


	2. blood and pills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> patrick has a vision because he's a fae lol

****

A loud crash disrupted the conversation that was held in the room. Pete jumped and stood up quickly, running towards the sound of choked sobs.

The others run after Pete, finding him in the bathroom, with Patrick laying on the ground. A small puddle of dark red blood around the strawberry-blonde, that was coming from his hands. Pieces of glass were scattered everywhere, but the group was more worried about Patrick.

His eyes were closed and his body was shaking violently. His breath was ragged, and he let out soft whines and whimpers.

"W-what's going on?!" Gerard yells.

"I d-don't know, Gee!" Pete yells back, trying to keep calm when he watches his boyfriend shake and bleed.

A soft whisper breaks their yelling.

".....Melanie." Brendon furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"What?"

"Melanie!" He yelled.

"B-blood," He whimpers out," pills! Dying, dying, dying, dying!"

"What the fuck!" Joe hissed.

The group looks around each other, fear present in their faces.

"Help her. Dying!" He opens his eyes, but instead of his bright blue eyes, they see pure white orbs. He twists and turns, but Pete stops him from moving too much. His pale skin started to get darker, black lines and figures were forming. The group of teenagers just stood there in shock.

"C'mon baby. Snap out of it." The others look at the two men helplessly.

"D-dying. Dying. Blood. Pills. Red. Red. Red." He muttered under his breath. Travie was on the verge of having a panic attack. He was beating himself up for not knowing how to help his best friend.

"Melanie, Melanie, Melanie," He slowly started to calm down.

"Patty, she isn't here," Ryan whispered.

"No. N-no, no, no!"

"Dying. Dying," His white eyes slowly return to his normal blue," knife."

"Red, words, G-gab-"

He sucked in a deep breath, and his eyes rolled back," Dead."

The group stared at the passed out strawberry-blonde in shock.

"What the actual fu-" Brendon starts but is cut off when Dallon places his finger on his mouth.

"J-just be q-quiet, Beebo." He stuttered. The group was clueless.

They stood there in silence, fear filling up the atmosphere.

"What do we do now?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, dudes. send me request and i'll write 'em.


	3. Find Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick is a death god and a kitty.

"Peter!" Patrick struggled against the hold of the masked man. Tears slipped from his unnaturally bright blue eyes because of the masked man's iron-covered hands. Bright red burn marks filled his pale arms and his bleached blonde hair was a mess from trying to defend himself from the attacker. His fluffy kitten ears were flat on his head, and his tail hidden underneath the white shirt he wore.

 

For the first time in his life, the young death god was scared.

 

That man outsmarted him.

 

That man knew  _exactly how_  to scare and hurt him.

 

Now, all Patrick wants is to be in the protective arms of his boyfriend.

 

"Brendon! Andy! Help me!" He cried. The man's left hand muffled the kitten hybrid's cries. Patrick screamed out when he placed his hand on his mouth. He kicked and punched, but the man's hold was too strong. He tried to move out of the circle made of iron, and call some souls to help, but  _he just couldn't._

 

The man wouldn't budge, and Patrick found himself being dragged to a circle on the wall. His eyes widened when he realized it was a dark grey portal, and wherever this strong man took him, it wouldn't be good. He hopelessly tried to push himself the other way and begged for someone to just come and  _help him._

 

He was getting weaker, and the pain consumed most of his thoughts. He finally gave up, and let the stranger take him to the portal. The man had won, and now, he had in possession, the last and only, cat hybrid in the world. What makes it even better for the hunter, was that this cat hybrid is one of the strongest death gods in the underworld. He also wasn't bad to look at either.

 

The hunter smirked at the bleached blonde and moved his hand from the shorter's mouth. He felt pride knowing he was the first to ever catch one of the most dangerous gods on the planet.

 

But what the hunter didn't know, was that the hybrid had protectors. The ones that will kill anybody who hurts their precious, sassy child. The ones that will burn down  _cities_ for discriminating the bleached blonde. The group loved their little hybrid, especially his boyfriend.

 

But the hunter didn't know that. So imagine his surprise when he heard a deep and menacing growl come from the entrance of the alleyway.

 

He looked at the direction the sound came from, to meet two dark whiskey-colored eyes filled with rage and possessiveness. He stumbled back and took notice of the red horns and pointed tail.  _A demon_  was in front of him. An angry spawn of  _hell._

 

He was  _fucked._

 

The demon's tail whipped around, and his eyes started to turn black. His teeth sharpened, and his hands turned into claws. The hunter was terrified, but the barely conscious hybrid lifted his head up and smiled a little.

 

"Pete," He mumbled before closing his eyes and passing out.

 

 _'_ Pete' growled and bared his sharp teeth at the hunter.

 

_**"Let go of my boyfriend, motherfucker."** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part two?


	4. ur gei?

"Hm."

 

"Stop pls"

 

"Hm hm, mothertrucker, hm hm."

 

"Stop."

 

"Hm hm, no bitch, hm hm."

 

"PETE."

 

"Hmmmmmmmm. I'll think about it."

 

"pls save meh, Joe."

 

"Hm, no."

 

"Nuuuuuuu not u 2 !!!"

 

"Hmhmhmhm, me 2 betch."

 

"Andy!"

 

"Hm skeet skeet."

 

"Wtfffffff!!!!,#&÷*'£!*-&*"

 

*patruck dies from the hmmms*

 

"Hm he ded, boi"

 

"hm, ye i see."

 

petsmartcri in hm. everybody cri in hm.

 

"my betch is gone*sniff sniff*"

 

"hmmmm, chu crying bcuz of dat?! bOi!!!!!!"

 

"he died gei."

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

 

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

 

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

 

ಥ_ಥ

 

 

 ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ

 

"nu stup hoe"

 

"Hm nu hoe."

 

*patruck angel flies through the roof*

 

"lEt tHe sPirIt oF gEeSuS cHirsT cOmpEl yOu!!!*!*!&!!&!&$_$_!!_!!!!"

 

"hm, no thnks ptrck."


	5. bring back the past, baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the v long oneshot  
> also! part 2 is a work in progress

"Guys," he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose," where are we goin'?"

"We're going somewhere, Shorty," Gerard said while driving the car.

"That doesn't answer my question, dumbass," Patrick replied, rolling his eyes.

"Awe, C'mon, Pattycakes. Stop being such a Debby downer!" Pete exclaimed as he smiled widely showing off his large, sharp fangs.

The bleached-blonde slumped in his seat, crossing his arms, and pouted.

Patrick looked around the van, frowning at the loud noises. Gerard, and Brendon, who was sitting right next to Pete and Patrick, sang to the radio. Frank was yelling out vines and memes while sitting shotgun _(tbh I don't know what that seat is actually called so that will do lmao)._  Dallon sat behind them, wearing headphones to block out the noise. Joe and Andy were making out, and the tall giant covered his eyes because he "saw too much gay shit today, and he didn't want to see more."

Pete was playing a fake bass along with the music, and Patrick covered his ears. He was slowly getting a headache from the ruckus, and he groaned silently, hoping nobody heard him.

He sighed softly and looked out the window, in hope that his headache will go away, but much to his luck, it just hit him even worse.

Patrick gasped lightly when they reached a familiar street, and he stared out wide-eyed. He slowly turned and glared at the driver mirror hoping to catch the eyes of the red-headed demon.

Patrick scowled. "Oh, you guys are in deep shit."

"And why is that, Patty?" Frank laughed.

The small boy growled and crossed his arms again. "You guys didn't think it was important to tell  _me_ that we are heading towards  _Elisa's?_ "

They finally reached the driveway of the immortal witch, and Gerard looked at Patrick, with an eyebrow raised up. "What's so bad about Elisa, Patrick? It's not like she could kill you."

Patrick sneered at the oldest. "But, you don't know her like I do. She would kill me if she found out what I was do-"

"PATRICK!" A loud feminine yell interrupted their conversation. Patrick paled and looked at Gerard wide-eyed. "Ohshitcanweleave!? Fuckfuckfuckfuckshe'sgoingtokillme," He pleaded.

Patrick slides down the seat, trying to hide from the angry witch. "PATRICK MARTIN VAUGHN STUMP GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR."

Pete glanced out the car window to see a red-faced Elisa with green mist seeping out of her brown eyes. Her dark chocolate curls lifted off her shoulders and danced in the air.

Pete looked back at the terrified Patrick. "What did you do?"

Patrick stared at Pete and then to the ground. The bleached-blonde mumbled to quietly for normal hearing to be heard, but Pete wasn't normal, so he heard it perfectly. "I hadn't called her in two months."

The vampire glanced at Patrick with confusion written on his face. "Why would she be pissed at th-"

Patrick yelped loudly when the car door opened. But right before he fell on the ground, green mist circled around him and carried him in front of Elisa.

She narrowed her eyes at him with an angry frown on her face. The others got out of the car witnessing the ordeal.

The only thing Patrick could do is smile sheepishly at her. "H-hey mom, l-l-long time n-no s-see."

The group of supernaturals' eyes widens at Patrick's statement.

"O-oh so that's what Patrick meant," Pete mumbled out.

"What?" Brendon asked, glancing at the vampire.

"Patrick. You haven't called me in two months, haven't answered my texts, come to visit me or even send someone to tell me you're okay! I was worried sick!" Elisa yelled out, waving her arms around.

"I'm sorry? I completely forgot I honestly didn't mean too!" Patrick whined. "Can you please put me down? I'm kinda getting sick from being in the air."

Dallon snorted softly. "Why didn't we bring him to Elisa? She would have set him in place."

"The fuck did you just say?" Elisa turned towards Dallon, lowering Patrick to the ground.

Dallon flinched back. "H-he's just been salty."

"Sassy," Gerard imputed.

"And sarcastic!" Brendon added.

Elisa looked at them, with that bitch face she could only make. "That's nothing new?"

"What?" Andy asked, confused.

"Patrick's always been like that. I raised him ever since he was a baby! You have  _no_ idea how many times we had to leave a place with Kevin or Megan with a bruise on their body because of Patrick's big mouth!" She exclaimed.

Patrick pouted on the floor, and he bit his lip before he could give Elisa a snarky remark because if he did, oh man, he would be a dead man walking.

The group stood there in shock, minus Pete because he knew his boyfriend was always a sassy piece of beautiful shit.

But, he never told him that his mother is Elisa. The most powerful immortal witch in existence.

He is  _so_ going to be in trouble later.

Elisa crossed her arms and stared at the group with calculating eyes. "What are you guys standing there for? Get in, you probably want me to answer a question for you."

The 'squad' quickly entered the building, with Pete carrying Patrick because Pete said "You're a princess, and princesses were made to be carried", which he earned a scoff and an eye roll.

They all sat down on the blue, red couches. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

Frank raised his hand. "You don't actually have to raise your hand. It's America one of the bills of somethin' says that you can talk freely."

"I'm confused," He said while lowering his hand," how are you Patrick's mother? You guys don't even look alike."

"It's somethin' called adopting, dumbass."

Patrick snorted, shifting slightly in Pete's lap. "But, like, the Stump kids are in my care ever since Patrick was like 4 months."

"Stump kids?" Dallon asked.

"Yeah, the devil, Kevin, who is the oldest, the main grim reaper, Megan is the middle child, and Patrick, our Death baby of the family."

"Wait, Patrick's the youngest?!"

"No, I'm an only child," Patrick replied while rolling his eyes.

Brendon scoffed. "How are we ignoring that Patrick is related to  _Satan?_ "

"Surprised?" Patrick smirked.

"Why didn't you tell me?! I would be stoked to see Satan himself!" Brendon replied, waving his arms around.

"Who wanted to see me?" A voice interrupted. All heads turned to the new figure in the room. 

There, in all his glory, was a tall man, with sandy blond hair. His dull, dark blue eyes scanned the room with an amused smirk in his pale, slightly burned skin. His eyes landed on Patrick, sensing the nervous aura of his brother. He wore a black, sleek suit and had devil horns on his head. 

"Oh, look what I found here," he purred while staring at Patrick's lighter eyes, "Death with his little 'squad'." 

He snapped his fingers and Patrick stood in front of him. "Megan is going to kill you when she finds out where you've been."

The bleached blonde rolled his eyes and looked up. "So?"

"So?! I will literally rip your ass and shove it so far down your fucking throat, I could reach it out the other end!" Another voice chimed in. Patrick slowly turned and stared at his older sister.

"Kinky," he replied while pursing his lips. Kevin snorted and Megan's right eye twitched. The group watched the ordeal intently while eating the popcorn Elisa made. Oof, they do love drama.

The reaper growled and her eyes turned black. She clenched her fists and walked towards Patrick, who just stared at his sister with a bored expression.

Kevin back away, and he slowly headed towards the couches, immediately getting bombarded with questions from Brendon. 

Once Megan was at arm's length, she grabbed his shirt and pushed him against the wall. The tips of Patrick's shoes barely touching the ground. "Megan, calm down,"

Instead, she felt pulled him off the wall, but pushed him back, harder than before. "How do you expect me to calm down?! You had me and Mom worried sick! What is wrong with you?!" She yelled.

Pete felt something bubble in his stomach as he watched the situation. His jaw clenched and his eyes harden, with red spots in the whiskey colour. 

"I have a really good reason, okay! It involves somethin' in the past," he mumbled the last part out. Megan's grip loosened and her eyes faded back to dead blue eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Planète étoile," he replied, causing the siblings and Elisa's eyes to widen. Kevin snapped his fingers and the immortal family vanished, leaving the group in confusion. 

"What the actual  _fuck_  just happen?!" 

**...**

"What do you mean he's back? I thought he was gone after the incident?" Elisa whispered, holding the bleached blonde in her arms while running her fingers through his fluffy hair.

"I-I don't know," He mumbled while shivering at a memory that danced happily in his mind. "All I know is, he's comin' back for his prize or somethin'."

Kevin sighed and rubbed his temples. "Why can't that fucker just leave you alone?!"

"I don't know, Kevin!" He cried out. "I wish I knew but I don't,"

Megan stayed silent, watching Patrick slowly break down in Elisa's arms.

"Patty," she whispered, "have you seen him or has he visited you?"

He sniffed while rubbing his wet tears away. "No," he replied weakly, "but he got my number and called me. He probably knows what I look like too."

Elisa felt her heartbreak in two, hearing Patrick sound so weak, so scared. It's been so long since the accident and she hoped with all her might, that the awful man was gone forever.

But I guess, she was wrong.

"H-he could find me so easily," He whimpered.

"Maybe," Elisa suggested, "you could go dress like you used to before you met him."

Kevin glanced at his brother. "Yeah, 'Tricky. He's never seen you before," He waved his hand on Patrick's clothing choice and hair, "all of this happened."

"Y-yeah, maybe,"

Megan smiled, and she took Patrick's smaller hand into her own. "Everything is going to be okay, Lovebug. We'll protect you."

"Damn right we will," Kevin exclaimed.

Elisa smiled fondly at the siblings. They care so much about each other. She didn't want to break the moment, but she needed to talk with Patrick alone.

"I know you guys don't want to be separated, but I need to talk to Patrick," she looked at the older siblings, "alone."

They nodded and Megan kissed Patrick's forehead. "I love you, Bubble,"

"I-I love you too, Maggie," He whispered back.

"See you later, Bud," Kevin muttered, ruffling Patrick's hair.

"Bye, Kevy,"

Kevin snapped his fingers and in an instant, the Devil and Grim Reaper were gone.

**...**

"It's not going to fit me." Patrick pouted while holding the clothes he used to wear when he lived in Hell.

Elisa sighed and glared at Patrick. "Yes, it will,"

Elisa was trying to coax Patrick into wearing his old clothes but the younger was being difficult.

She already took off the bleached-blonde dye and the makeup Patrick used to cover his freckles and naturally blushed cheeks. Now, the challenge is the clothing.

Patrick shook his head. "No, it will not,"

"Just put on the fucking clothes or I will." Patrick huffed and nodded before heading towards the bathroom.

She followed him, but she stayed outside the door. After a few minutes, Patrick called her name.

"Mom?" He whispered from the other side.

"What is it, button?" She asked.

"I was right," He replied," they don't fit me."

She raised an eyebrow. "Are they too short?"

"No,"

"Well, what do you me-"

"They don't fit me be my hips and thighs," he interrupted.

Elisa giggled and she muttered a spell. "There that should make them your size." 

"Thank you," he muttered before exiting the bathroom.

The witch practically awe'd at the boy. He shuffled out the room with black skinny jeans, a white shirt underneath an over-sized tan sweater, that covered his pale hands, high-top black converse shoes, that weren't tied, and his favorite fedora lazily placed on his head, with strawberry blonde locks poking out of the hat. 

Elisa smiled. and she patted her lap, signaling for the blonde to place his foot there. He caught on to what she was trying to say, and he lifted his foot, onto Elisa's thigh area. She tied Patrick's laces together, neatly, and did the same to the other. He never did learn how to tie his shoes. 

She grabbed Patrick's glasses, and she placed them on the boy's cute button nose.

"C'mon, marshmallow. We have to go and meet your friends. They must be confused about what happened." He nodded; she took Patrick's hand into her's, and she snapped her fingers. 

Green mist slowly consumed their bodies, and they headed towards the supernatural group. 

**...**

 "Pete! Calm down, they're just his family. They won't hurt him!" Andy reasoned with the panicked vampire. 

Pete growled at him, fangs extended and eyes were filled with a dark crimson red. "You don't know that." He spat out.

Andy's eyes widened and he shook his head in disbelief. "I actually do know that because Elisa and Patrick are standing right behind you."

Pete glared at him before turning around, catching a whiff of Patrick's sweet scent, and his facial expression matched Andy's shocked face, perfectly. " _Holy shit,_ " 

Pete felt his dead heart beat faster as he stared at his short boyfriend. Patrick looked _beautiful._ From his soft-looking strawberry blonde hair to his small freckles Pete never knew existed.

_Fuck,_  he looked adorable.

He looked very fuckable too.

Pete cursed under his breath, feeling his dick twitch slightly. If he didn't get those thoughts out of his head, he would pop a boner and Patrick will laugh at him.

But, he could get a wicked blow job from his boyfriend.

And that doesn't sound bad. ;)

The feeling of Patrick's plush, ruby lips, and his warm, wet mouth wrapped around his dick as he deep-throated him. The soft, intoxicating sounds Patrick would create when Pete pulls him off and plunges into the blonde's needy ho-

"Pete!" The vampire jumped out of his thoughts and stared at the person that he was just pondering about.

Shit.

"W-what?" He asked, voice breaking softly. Patrick gave him a cute smirk, already knowing what Pete was thinking. He walked over, swaying his hips slightly, enough for Pete to drool over, but not enough for the others to notice. "Are you okay?" Patrick purred.

Pete shifted uncomfortably. He nodded at the blonde, and a light shade of red blossomed on his cheeks. "Y-yeah, I'm okay. Why d-do you ask?" 

"Oh, I don't know," he smiled while biting his bottom lip," you seem a little,  _feverish_ ,"

Elisa and Andy took this time to leave, they do  _not_  need to know what happens next.

"I d-don't know w-what you're t-talking ab-bout," he stuttered, and Patrick giggled, moving closer to Pete with both of their chest touching. "I think you do~"

Oh, that sly little fucker.

The vampire growled as he pushed Patrick against the wall, attacking the blonde's plump lips with his own. The shorter raked his fingers through the ebony's short black hair, and he kissed back, just as forcefully. Their lips molded perfectly with each other, and it was like with every kiss, they spoke to each other. It was like they were saying, "I love you," Please don't leave me," Protect me," I missed you," and with each passing second, the words grew louder, more prominent. 

And they knew they shouldn't do this, with the others in the base, but they were too caught up in the moment to care. All that mattered was them and them only. 

Pete gripped Patrick's thighs, lifting the blonde effortlessly. He wrapped his legs around Pete's waist, and their lips were still connected. They moved off the wall, heading towards their bedroom as they tugged, pulled, and ripped pieces of clothing from their aching bodies. 

They went slow, not as hasty like they usually are, both ravishing the moment they were in. The couple spent minutes just kissing each other before anything could really happen. But soon, they grew impatient as they pulled off their last article of clothing that concealed their raging boners. 

And let's just say, that they had a long night of fun.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! This is my first book here and it's probably not going to be really good, but I'm going to try, haha. Anycakes, I just wanted to say thanks for stopping by and reading this crappy chapter. I probably won't update that often since I'm mostly on Wattpad. Also, I have a fic on my Wattpad account and it's Peterick, so if you want to read it, my account name is summerfIing.  
> ((ooh the "I" is an "i" but capitalized))


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